How to find a lesbian girlfriend?

The world slowly becomes a more accepting and supportive place for everyone, including LGBTQ people. Meanwhile, it doesn’t always mean that it’s always easy for these people to find great partners for dating and long-term love stories. Plenty of single ladies don’t know how to find a lesbian girlfriend, and they often feel hopeless. 

But why is it so hard? Even those who live in big cities often don’t know how to find other lesbians, and especially those who aren’t already taken. In this article, we’ll find out how to meet lesbian singles, and why it might be hard for single lesbians to find a suitable match.

Why it might be hard for single lesbians to find partners

People often might overlook how hard it is for people of all sexual orientations to meet suitable partners. Lesbian dating is often seen as less tabooed or judged, but it’s not always true. Moreover, it doesn’t always help - single lesbians often still don’t know where to meet nice partners who they can spend quality time with, and build long-lasting relationships as well.

There are a few popular problems that women have when they’re looking for lesbian dating. Let’s look through them together.

Smaller Dating Pool

There are generally fewer lesbian individuals compared to heterosexual people, so the dating pool might be smaller. This can make it more challenging to find a compatible partner.

Moreover, lots of lesbian communities consist of women who are already taken, or who’ve already dated lots of other women of this community. It makes women feel like they’re doomed, because they feel like everyone knows each other, and there are simply no other lesbians they haven’t met yet.

Social Stigma

In some places, there might still be social stigma or discrimination against LGBTQ individuals. This can make it difficult for lesbians to openly express their identity and find potential partners. 

Even nowadays, lesbian dating is often hidden, or even tabooed. It’s quite hard to find a partner when you can’t even say who you are or who you’re looking for out loud. People often prefer to stay single than to be outed. Even if you accept yourself and know how to fight back, other single ladies might be too shy or afraid to show the world who they really are and who they would like to date.

Lack of Visibility

Some lesbians may not feel comfortable openly identifying as lesbian, which can make it harder to find others who share their identity and interests.

There’s no universal rule of how a lesbian should look. Some ladies tend to be extremely feminine, others are masculine, and neither of these two things actually say about their sexual orientation. In that case, it’s even harder to find a lesbian who’s single and interested in dating someone. 


Finding someone who shares common interests, values, and goals can be tough for anyone, regardless of their sexual orientation.

Lesbians aren’t attracted to all women around - it doesn’t work that way. Therefore, two single women might just have zero common interests or relationship goals, or just no attraction whatsoever - so they won’t be together. Also, things like libido, temperament, age, physical features, and even style matter a lot - and that’s why some people don’t click even if they seem to be perfect for each other.

Online Dating Challenges

While online dating can be a useful tool, it also comes with its own set of challenges, including dealing with fake profiles and finding genuine connections. Finding a lesbian online might make things way easier for lots of women, but it doesn’t make it too easy - you still need to find a special person who you have something in common with.

Geographic Location

In some areas, there may be fewer LGBTQ community spaces or events, making it more difficult to meet potential partners. People can be lonely while living in huge and crowded cities, no wonder that it’s even more complicated for singles in towns.

It’s pretty depressing and disappointing for many single ladies to understand that they might have already met all lesbians in their town, and there are no options left to choose a partner from. 

Tips that might help you

Even if you struggle to find a girlfriend, you’re not doomed - there are a few methods that might work for you. Let’s talk about how to meet a lesbian for dating or even a long-term love story. These tips might work for you!

Use Dating Apps

Try using dating apps or websites designed for LGBTQ people. These platforms make it easier to connect with a potential partner who is also interested in dating a lesbian online. A good app can make everything way easier - you just need to be persistent and patient enough to look through all potential partners around.

Attend LGBTQ Events

Look for LGBTQ events or gatherings in your area. These could include pride parades, social meetups, or support groups. It's a great way to meet like-minded people and find a lesbian woman who’s also looking for the same things as you do.

Ask Friends

Let your friends know that you're interested in dating women. They might know someone who's a good match for you. It’s especially useful when you have friends who are also lesbians - it might make it way easier for you to connect to new people. 

Online Communities

Join online communities or forums where LGBTQ people chat and share their experiences. You might make friends and potentially find someone special. This approach is also great because it helps people to find safe spaces where they can openly discuss things that bother them, ask for help or advice, and share important information. 

Be Open

If it’s safe and possible, be open about your identity and what you're looking for. This can help others know that you're interested in dating women. In many cases, you can be surprised to know how many ladies around you are actually into women as well. 

Get Involved

Engage in hobbies or activities you enjoy, and you might meet someone who shares your interests. Common interests can be a great way to connect. It’s a generally good rule that can help you find not only partners, but also friends - and it’s always great,

Local LGBTQ Organizations

Look for LGBTQ organizations or clubs in your community. These can be a great way to meet people and potentially find a girlfriend. In such organizations, you can be yourself while being surrounded by like-minded people. They don’t just have the same sexual orientation as you - they also understand your struggles, worries, and all potential issues you might have, so they can help you and give some advice. 

Ask for Referrals

If you know any LGBTQ friendly therapists or counselors, they might have connections and could refer you to potential partners. While this approach doesn’t always work, some people claim that it has helped them to meet their long-term partners. 

Be Patient

Finding the right girlfriend can take time, so be patient and don't rush into a relationship. Focus on getting to know people and building connections. People of all sexual orientations shouldn’t base their lives or identities around relationships. Most importantly, they should take good care of themselves - fix their lives when needed, take care of their mental health, and also make sure they feel comfortable and confident when they’re on their own. Looking for a good partner might take plenty of time, so you can’t just waste it.

Be Yourself

When you meet someone, be yourself. Authenticity can help build a strong and genuine connection. When you meet the right person, it’s important to be the best version of yourself - emotionally stable, healthy, and happy. These things can improve your chances to have something real, romantic, and lasting. One of the main features of a healthy and well-developed person is its confidence and self-value. When you don’t have to pretend to be someone else to be loved, you can actually find someone who likes you for who you are.


Finding a great lesbian partner might be challenging - so you should use as many ideas on how to meet the right person as you can. The main thing you should remember about is to take care of your mental health, so you can easily do other things - build connections, find friends, ask others for help. If you’re patient enough, then your love will definitely find you!

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